I’ve often been asked the following question: “O.k., I took my time to develop Self-Awareness. Now I better understand the ways in which I sabotage my relationships. That’s great! But how can I use this awareness to make the necessary changes to cultivate and maintain a successful and satisfying relationship?”In this article I address this important question. My advice is based on the assumption that by now you have taken the time to develop your Self-Awareness, and that what you want is to understand how to use what you’ve learned about yourself to be able to “translate” it to your daily attempts at cultivating a successful relationship.Using Self-Awareness to cultivate a successful relationship: 5 TipsUseful Tip 1Developing Self Awareness is a process. Therefore, as you begin to develop your awareness you already begin to take steps to implement what you become aware of. Realizing it enables you to use what you have learned as you pay attention to how you now handle yourself in relationships or while attempting to develop one.Useful Tip 2Now that you consciously and intentionally observe your interactions with your partner (or past relationships in retrospect) you become able to:* Stop letting these control you;
* Halt your reactions and behaviors and contemplate which ones to us;
* Choose new ways to behave, vital to cultivating a successful and satisfying relationship. Useful Tip 3As you develop your Self-Awareness you can understand how you harmed your relationships by not being true to yourself and by giving up on your will:* Being driven by needs and fears;
* Being controlled by messages;
* Wishing to ensure you have a relationship;
* Wanting to avoid conflicts;
* And due to other reasons which you discover when you become aware.Now that you have become aware, you become self-empowered to connect with your will.Connecting with your will enables you to be authentic – which is a virtue to a successful, satisfying and healthy relationship. Useful Tip 4Connecting with you will enables you to begin to initiate changes in your relationships – albeit small ones – which you might have not taken before, for example:* You allow yourself to be selective regarding who you date or begin a relationship with (if you’re single and have previously succumbed to whoever asked you out);* You allow yourself to express your opinions and desires with your partner (if you haven’t allowed yourself to do so before);* You allow yourself to avoid doing what doesn’t feel right to you – even if your partner asks you to;* You allow yourself to suggest things to do (if you haven’t dared making suggestions before); and so on.Useful Tip 5As you develop Self-Awareness, realize and understand what has driven you to sabotage your relationships, you become able to de-activate their power.For example, now that you have become aware of your fears, you no longer find yourself jumping from one relationship to another and being in relationships which are no good for, nor do you stay in relationships which are bad for you and behave as a victim within the relationship – all of which you have previously done in order to escape the fear of being alone.The best way to combat the fear is to “be in it” : to stop acting like you had until now in order to “protect” yourself from being alone, but rather take the time to be by yourself. You might feel the fear, but if you will resist the temptation to run away from it. Being in it empowers you to combat it! As you allow yourself to “be in” other fears – such as the fear of commitment (rather than running away from it by escaping from every relationship) or the fear of being hurt (allowing yourself to be open with you partner rather than be cautious or refrain from having one altogether) – you can free yourself from the power these fears have exerted over you.Using your Self-Awareness is vital to succeeding in your relationshipsAs much as your own relationship issues might be similar to or different from others’, the Self-Awareness you develop and the insights you achieve are unique to you. Therefore, there are no specific tips on how to use the awareness, the knowledge and the understanding you have gained.The advice I’ve outlined here can serve you as general guidelines on the basis of which you can move forward in dealing with your own relationship issues and in making the specific changes you need to make to cultivate a successful intimate relationship.

A broken relationship with someone whom you shared memorable moments and most of all your heart is something that is not easy to handle. Relationships sometimes come to an end unexpectedly due to minor misunderstandings or bigger issues that couples failed to settle constructively. Once broken, a relationship is not that easy to restore but fortunately, it is not impossible to fix a broken relationship. If you want to restore a broken romantic relationship, the following tips can be very helpful.Realize the reasons why you broke up in the first place. To restore a broken romantic relationship, you must first find out the reason behind the break-up. A broken relationship cannot be restored if you do not know the cause of the break up. To know the solution, you have to know what the problems are. Look back into your relationship and analyze what went wrong. It would be great and more effective if both you and your ex would agree to figure out the problems in your relationship that led to your break up.Own up to your mistakes. After analyzing what went wrong to your relationship, you will soon realize your mistakes. If you want to restore a broken romantic relationship, do not point fingers but own up to your mistakes. Nobody is perfect and everyone commit mistakes. It is not the absence of mistakes that is important because we are humans and bound to make mistakes. What is important is the acknowledgment or owning up your mistakes. If you found out that you are at fault, accept it, apologize and make up for your mistakes.Forgive your ex. It takes two to tango so both you and your partner contributed to your break up. If you want to restore a broken romantic relationship you must be ready to forgive and forget whatever the mistakes of your other half. Past is past and it is not healthy for your relationship to live with the pain of the past. If you wish for a long-lasting relationship, you should be capable of putting all the bad things behind and be willing to start anew with your ex.Change yourself for the better. It is important to be your best self or change for the better if you want to restore a broken romantic relationship. Once you realized your faults, it is best to make a conscious effort to correct your mistakes, change for the better and never repeat the same mistakes. The positive changes in you can be very helpful for your ex to see you in the brighter light. Changing yourself is not being submissive but you are making a better version of you to fix your broken relationship and create a long-lasting relationship.Reconnect with your ex. Communication is the key if you want to reconnect with your ex and restore a broken romantic relationship. After giving yourself and your ex time to reflect on what happened, it is important that you reconnect with your ex if you really want to rebuild your relationship. Of course you have to be emotionally ready to reconnect with your ex. Take it slow, do not try to force it because your ex may not appreciate being rushed into something that needs time. If actual conversation is still not possible there are other means to reconnect with your ex like phone calls, emails, instant messaging and social networks. Of course you have to show your sincerity to reconnect with your ex and restore a broken romantic relationship. You also need to be patient because winning your ex back is not a thing that could happen overnight.Restoring a damaged relationship is not easy but it is not impossible to win an ex back. If things are getting difficult, do not lose hope.